Depressed

I have experienced a lot of frustrated events in my life, and there is a depressed system of spirit deeply embedded my mind. At the beginning, it is an awful emotion. However, with my growth, I separated it to a specific space, using my will to transform this negative energy into another positive power. It is a somber and long process, but I have done it. The practice is like a monk’s. On another way to explanation, this energy is black. After transforming through my will, it turns to another color, a beneficial one, which reinforces my will and spirit. When some missions from my living or job become my pressure, I can be easily out of the limit to solve and fight for them. Thanks to the function of the negative side, it will let everything turn nothing. Even though this kind of energy is good for me, if I face something in the pleasant state or environment, I will lost myself. Due to this reason, I need to keep myself in a disciplinary living to stabilize it.